Empower Your Daughter in these 10 Big Ways

When you intentionally empower your daughter, it is one of the best freedoms you will give her!

TW: sexual abuse, child abuse, sex trafficking

Considering all the evil happening in this world, impacting young women and girls, it is time we plan to help our daughters feel empowered. It is not enough to just hope that one day she will grow into a confident young woman, capable of standing up for herself. We have to do our part to make sure she is equipped with the tools and resources to feel confident using the power within her. Our little girls should feel strong and bold enough to face this world that can be very cruel at times.

Shocking Sex Trafficking Facts

Sex trafficking is a form of modern slavery, and it is estimated that there are about 20 to 40 million people currently being trafficked internationally. ⁽¹⁾ It is heartbreaking to know that the average age of sex trafficking victims is 15. ⁽²⁾ In fact, almost 20% of sex trafficking victims are children. ⁽³⁾ The disgusting sex trafficking predators are often targeting their victims through online social sites, yes, even sites like Facebook or Instagram. Though it is often told that sex trafficking victims are girls from broken homes or the foster care system, some girls come from very loving homes and still end up in the wrong hands. There is no typical profile of a sex trafficking victim because the traffickers often tailor their methods to the individual victims.

R. Kelly Sentenced to 30 years

R&B singer, R Kelly, has been sentenced to 30 years in prison for sex trafficking and federal racketeering charges. R Kelly used his fame, status, and his network to target children for his own sexual pleasures. In the Netflix special on this story, the victims recount how they got involved with R Kelly. Many of these victims told stories of how they were lured by promises of success in the music industry. His victims were all minors, many of whom say they were involved in a “sex cult” with Kelly.

What did Jeffrey Epstein do?

Jeffrey Epstein was a wealthy man who was targeting minor girls for his own sexual pleasures. The Netflix special tells stories of his victims who were lured to visit his home and told they would be paid $200-$1000 for giving him a massage. These encounters typically led to illegal sexual interactions. In 2008, Jeffrey Epstein was initially convicted of solicitation of prostitution. In 2019, he was set to go to trial for sex trafficking and conspiracy charges but died in jail while awaiting trial.   

What did Ghislaine Maxwell do?

Ghislaine Maxwell was a friend of Jeffrey Epstein who worked alongside him to target minor girls. In June 2022 she was convicted and sentenced to 20 years in prison for conspiring with Epstein to groom and abuse underage girls. The Netflix special details how Ghislaine Maxwell and other influential people committed these crimes against minors over the years.

Lessons from the Sexual Abuse Victims of Jeffrey Epstein and R Kelly.

After watching both the R Kelly and Jeffery Epstein Specials on Netflix, I noticed some commonalities between all the victims. I preface the rest of what I say by reaffirming that these girls were all victims and did not deserve what happened to them. It was not their fault that adults took advantage of them. They deserved to be protected and they were not. Everything I state moving forward should be held with this truth in mind.

Though these documentaries were both very hard to watch, I found myself watching from a different angle. I started paying attention to what the girls did and said that led to their interaction with these predators. From what I learned, there are 10 things I plan to teach my own daughter in hopes that she will have a lesser chance of being a victim of sex trafficking or sexual abuse.  I encourage you to do the same.

10 Ways to Empower Your Daughter

1. Build Your Daughters Self Esteem

My dad used to sit me and my sisters down and talk to us about how beautiful and valuable we are. It was his goal to make sure we never needed the approval of any man to feel valuable. Victims in both documentaries detail how the grown men made them feel beautiful or special. Affirm your girl. Hype her up. Make her feel beautiful, valued, and special. Talk to her about her value going beyond her looks. Do it until she believes it. A woman that knows her worth is powerful!

2. Give your child the world

In both cases, girls talked about being so excited to go on a plane or take a trip or see a mansion. While we may not have the means to expose our children to the same experiences of millionaires, we can do our best to ensure they see more than just the inside of their own home. If it is at all within your budget, take them on local adventures, day trips or even just a drive to a nearby city. If taking them on a plane trip is feasible, make it happen. Take them on adventures and show them as much of the world as is possible for you. Trust me when I say, make this a priority. If you must give up your daily Starbucks to create a budget for showing your kids the world, do it!  

3. Talk to your daughter about life

Make secrets a thing of the past. Create an environment of openness and trust in your home so that everyone feels comfortable communicating. Let your daughter feel that her voice, feelings, and opinions matter. When your kids tell you shocking things, learn how to address what they share without condemning and punishing them all the time. The victims in both cases were often keeping their parents in the dark about their involvement with Kelly or Epstein.

Just imagine how things may have been different if these girls had immediately told a parent about the friend who wanted to introduce them to Jeffrey. Figure out how to help your child feel comfortable coming to you when they have a problem. Your child should know that mommy is a helper, not just a rule enforcer.

4. Talk to your daughter about sex

If you do not talk to your kids about sex, it is guaranteed that someone else will. As soon as you feel it is age-appropriate start having those conversations. Be sure to talk to your daughter about what should be off limits for an interaction between her and another adult. Tell her how it is a crime, not a “cool thing”, to date and hang out with an older man. Tell your daughter that no older man should be touching her or asking her to touch him. Make sure your daughter knows that she owns her body and doesn’t have to allow anything to be done to her body outside of her own will.

5. Empower your daughter to say no!

Most of the girls said they felt uncomfortable or wanted the abuse to stop but they were afraid to say anything. They thought they had to go through with whatever the men requested. The fear they felt is valid. Still, many of them said they simply didn’t know how to say no.

The first step may be teaching your daughter to recognize when something feels “off” about an environment and helping her know how to get away. In the event she does end up in a compromising situation, empower your daughter to feel confident using her voice to say no. Also, help her to understand that sometimes a simple “no” may not be enough. She may need to give an explanation or even say no more than one time. Learning to say no is a valuable skill in many facets of life.

6. Talk to your daughter about friendships

Empower your daughter to build healthy friendships. Teach your daughter that she has the power to choose her friends. She should know that she deserves mutually beneficial friendships and can switch friends whenever she feels necessary. Talk to her about what to do when she feels a friend of hers is into “bad things”. Teach her that true friends don’t just let friends do wrong and not say anything. In both documentaries, there were situations where a friend made the first introduction to Epstein or Kelly.

Teach your daughter that she should not have adult friends that you are unaware of. Teach her not to blindly get in the car with friends without someone knowing where she is going. Meet her friends and their parents. Create a welcoming environment in your own house so your kids feel comfortable inviting their friends over. Healthy friendships will carry your girl far in life.  

7. Empower your daughter by talking to her about money.

It is no secret that many people are struggling and could use more money. This was a common reason for some of the victims getting involved with R Kelly or Jeffrey Epstein. They were promised they would get paid in return for actions that eventually led to them being sexually abused. It is so important to talk to your daughter about how to make money in honest and healthy ways. Encourage her to come to you and express her needs, even if she feels it is a need you don’t have the monetary means to meet. Include your daughter in financial conversations and be proactive about including her needs and wants whenever appropriate

8. Encourage your daughter to think critically

People are more likely to take advantage of a naïve and gullible person. Talk to your daughter about real scenarios. Empower your daughter to ask questions. Role play and ask her what she would do in certain situations. Your daughter should be very suspicious of any person coming into her life and immediately promising her the world. This is what happened to many of the victims in each documentary. They were promised careers, entry into prestigious universities, large sums of money, and more.

An intelligent adult with a fully developed brain would likely do a little more investigative work, but a child may only see the possibility of a dream being fulfilled. Encourage your daughter to make educated decisions in life and invite her to share things with you if she ever has a question.

9. Help your daughters remain safe while online

The internet can be a dangerous place. The moment you give your child a phone they have access to the whole world. In the same, the whole world now has access to them. Predators spend countless hours on the internet trying to lure young children. Talk to your daughter about who to interact with and who not to interact with. Set safety parameters on her devices. Delay giving your child a phone for as long as possible because things change as soon as you give them access.

Website for tips to keep your children safe online

Visit www.justice.gov for tips on how to keep children safe online.

10. Spend quality time with your daughter

As with any relationship, the more time you spend together, the closer you get. Spending quality time with your child will help to build trust and a lasting positive relationship. Some of the victims in these documentaries would be away from home for long periods of time and their parents would have no knowledge of where they are. There were girls trying to escape the home environments for varying reasons. As a parent, it is our job to build a good relationship with our kids and foster a safe and peaceful environment in our homes. Yes, kids will be kids, but they should not be longing to escape from home. Our children should feel welcome and wanted by us. It is our job to ensure that.

Final thoughts to Empower your Daughter

I am sure there are other things that you can do to empower your daughter and better prepare her to avoid the trap of an evil person. Watch both documentaries and see what you pick up on that you can apply in your own household. I also encourage you not to live in fear, but to ultimately pray and ask God to protect your children, as you do your part to equip them with good resources. Even if you cannot do all 10 of these things, just be intentional about doing your best to empower your daughter. That is the key.

I would love to know what you think. Leave a message in the comments section and let me know your thoughts on this topic.

1. “Hotline Statistics.” The National Human Trafficking Hotline. Accessed July 4, 2022. https://humantraffickinghotline.org/states.
2. “Child Sex Trafficking”. Children’s Rights. Accessed July 4, 2022. https://www.childrensrights.org/newsroom/fact-sheets/child-sex-trafficking/
3. “UNODC Report on human trafficking exposes a modern form of slavery”. United Nations. Accessed July 4, 2022. https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/human-trafficking/global-report-on-trafficking-in-persons.html#:~:text=The%20second%20most%20common%20form,all%20trafficking%20victims%20are%20children

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